Do you allow members to share personal info about other members, without permission?

My forum has a rule forbidding sharing on the public forums private personal info about other hobbyists and their families, without the permission of the person being discussed. Not only is that a privacy violation, but the info could just be incorrect. It's exposed to hundreds of people, both friends and strangers.

They can share their own information, they can pass on info on behalf of another hobbyist if that hobbyist approves of it. They can say what they like about anyone not in the hobby (celebrities, politicians, etc.) They can say anything in private messages. They just can't put this stuff in the public forums without permission.

I'm not considering changing that rule.
I am wondering how other admins handle that situation.

Hopefully no one is ever surprised to have someone say to them ...
"Hey I read on Blab that you ... "
... got a divorce
... had a miscarriage
... have only a few months to live

The last one was just posted - severe terminal cancer - and I am pretty darn sure the patient and the patient's family have no idea a well-meaning friend is sharing that info with hundreds of people they don't know. I think the friend wants to reach out to people who may know this person, and hasn't realized a public announcement on the internet may not be the best way to do it. Some people in such dire circumstances might be fine with it, others would be appalled at their exposure.

I've moved the thread out of sight for the time being, and asked the poster to confirm that the patient/patient's family are ok with sharing this info. Even then I am planning to ask the poster to link to somewhere more appropriate ... Care Pages or a blog or something like that. I'm not sure the saga of a dying woman's last days is the most appropriate of topics for a model horse hobby forum. There are other ways to do this.

What would you do if someone posted on your forum that someone else is dying (or something else dire and very personal,) and you're pretty sure the someone else has no idea they are posting this information?

 

Re: Do you allow members to share personal info about other members, without permissi

Hi 3Phase! I think you pretty much answered your own question:

As long as the user is letting out information that you mentioned, with permission from the person with cancer, I wouldn't cause myself the heartache.

 

Re: Do you allow members to share personal info about other members, without permissi

So you would also remove the thread if they couldn't confirm they had permission to share the info publicly?

I am sorry to be playing the role of such a big meanie to the person who shared with good intentions I'm sure ... but I do think sharing this was a huge error of judgment. And I don't want my forum to be part of that.

 

Re: Do you allow members to share personal info about other members, without permissi

Yes, I would. And I would leave it from the eye of the public! Not only could you be held accountable for allowing a user to publish that sort of content, you could lose credability. If you have the information, contact that user with cancer, verify he/she has cancer, ask he/she if it's okay that the site knows and then reopen the thread. I say verify he/she has cancer because the last thing you want is users spreading rumors on your site. Also, if he/she doesn't mind having the information up about having cancer, leave the thread closed for comments. Because users may post comments that you are unable to answer, some may post comments that are vulgar, rude, etc. Personally, I'd keep it closed.

You are doing the right thing by taking more precautions, because like I said, you don't want your forum losing its good reputation for something so dumb.

 

Re: Do you allow members to share personal info about other members, without permissi

I do have her contact info but have decided not to do so. If the information is correct she doesn't have long and may be very debilitated and fading. I don't know her. I decided she didn't need the nuisance of hearing from an internet forum.

Yeah that !!!

Excellent suggestion. If I learn that permission is granted I will definitely keep the thread closed. I have not wanted to have to watch for the inevitable snarky comments about desperately ill people who being "attention-seekers" or running some sort of scam. There is always someone ready to make that post.

Thanks for your thoughts, you see this pretty much as I do.

 

Re: Do you allow members to share personal info about other members, without permissi

That's right! I'm glad you're not going to- if anything, she needs to hear from her family.

You better know it! And although your forum seems to be full of mature adults, occasionally, you have that one childish adult that is either nosey, or just wants to know everything. Maybe if you have a religious forum, and a prayer request subforum, the announcement can be placed there, or even as a general, forum-wide announcement.

No problem, glad I could help and give my two cents.

 

Re: Do you allow members to share personal info about other members, without permissi

i would move the thread into the staff area and pm the member my reasons for doing so. then i would contact the other person involved and ask whether its true and whether they would like the thread to stay on the forum.

if the person the thread is about says it is ok, i move it back onto the forum, and if not i delete it.

personal information like phone numbers, adresses and email adresses are not allowed on the forum, whether it is of yourself or someone else. if anyone posts one i will edit it out of the post and add a message telling them that this forum is not the place to post stuff like this on, and information like this should be kept to pm's

 

Re: Do you allow members to share personal info about other members, without permissi

I remove it by editing the post and follow up with a new post on the thread as to what was done....erring on the side of privacy and to use email or PM system to convey the info.

Lots of kids do this by mistake. It happens.

 

Re: Do you allow members to share personal info about other members, without permissi

Just fwiw, the rest of the story ...

I was right that the terminal patient and her family had no idea the well-meaning friend was posting this information on the internet. The patient was not a forum member, but is a well-regarded hobbyist. I did not contact the patient or her family, I felt that would be intrusive as such a sensitive time. I put it on the poster to report back to me that they were ok with it.

It took her a couple of weeks but she did finally talk to the patient, and the patient cleared it. I moved the thread back to the public forums.

I also created an id for the patient so she could log on and read the comments, and I gave her paid access so she could enjoy the forum if she wanted to. I posted in the thread that the patient did have access, so posters would know she might read what they posted.

The thread has actually been very sweet, it has been a tribute to some of the patient's past creative hobby work. People have posted photos of things she has created in addition to well wishes. The patient has visited and posted her appreciation in the thread.

So this time it all worked out.

I must say I can't imagine how people don't think when they post dire information about other people. They seem to loose sight of just how many people can see it, and that no one knows who all those people are and how they might use the information.

I am thinking of adding a request that instead of making this hobby forum a conduit for medical and personal news, we'd prefer people post links to other information sites like CarePages, Facebook or blogs, where that information is being made available. It's not the purpose of the hobby forum to be updating medical status for lots of people. There are better places for that.

 

Re: Do you allow members to share personal info about other members, without permissi

nicely and correctly handled 3phase

 

Re: Do you allow members to share personal info about other members, without permissi

No, Depending on how personal depends on the type of ban but hes my general rule for it:

Posting/Releasing Personal Details Or Images Of Other Users - We will not stand for this kind of behavior. You are strictly not allowed to post sensitive or personal information of other members of our community. Do not even consider doing this without the full prior written consent of the person who's details or image it so happens to be. Action will be taken against your account unless you post picture or video proof of the written consent. You will receive an IP ban, as well as you risk the deletion of your JetGaming account.

 

Re: Do you allow members to share personal info about other members, without permissi

Generally I don't care until it comes down to things like "this is this user's address, phone number, place of work, etc"

 

Re: Do you allow members to share personal info about other members, without permissi

I think your doing the same as what I would be doing.

Another forum that some of my members used to post on don't seem to care. One of my members recently found out that some one was stalking her on forums, reading what she was posting. On this other forum, one of the moderators mentioned my friends name, and my friend said not to use her name on a public forum without her permission, and the mod turned around and said 'you used your name in your intro so i can use your name' but my friend did this prior to when she started getting stalked and prior to the forum becoming public.
I couldn't do that to some one, any one, so if I suspected that information was being shared without permission I would no doubt either edit it, or remove it and contact the members concerned.