Dealing with arguing between members

Do you often get members bickering and such within threads and arguing back and forth even becoming rude to one another on your forums? How do you deal with these types of behaviour when it is in public?

Personally I dont mind so much as long as there isnt any swearing involved. If the bickering does become seriously heated where they begin to insult each other we do infract for this but only when really needed.

 

I Catch Them, Warning, Then We Talk In ChatBox. After Awhile.
Its All Back To Normal. Everyone Is Happy.

 

Haven't come across this but I would ask the members to keep their problems off the forum or sort them out.

 

If they're arguing about something relevant to the forum topic I let it continue. Once the name-calling and personal attacks begin I'll put a stop to it.

 

Usually our arguments are topical, but in order to keep all the complaining centralized, we throw them into a social group where they can rant as much as they want.

That takes it off the main area, but gives them an outlet.

In the social group, we let people be ... more blunt than we might allow on the main board. It has proven quite beneficial.

Now we have members who will say "Can you guys take that to the social group?" :p

 

Maybe you have found the key to populating those awful social groups Dont dish out the infraction or ban, send them to the social groups for mega population

 

Our forum is a band fanclub. So, we get the people who dance on the edge of being fans and want to come into threads and just complain and complain.

So, we invite them to go to our "Fandom" social group, where they can kvetch all they like.

And of course, there are threads for those who want to rant about those who complain all the time.

MOST often, it shuts people up if they do not get to be cranky with a large audience.

I guess our groups are pretty popular.

Groups: 79, Messages: 42,799,

 

Congrats on that, I dont think I have seen such social group stats!

Our teen forums social group stats:

Groups 49 and messages I am unsure of. No more than 1000 I think.

 

Another big demographic is people who want to talk about other bands. Those broke out into fights a lot, because so and so talked bad about Jonas Brotherz11!!111111!~!! so, we moved most music discussion not related to other bands over to social groups as well.

One band caused so many arguments, we had to create TWO social groups, one for the fans and one of the non-fans.

Heehee

 

Well it is good to see a site leveraging their social groups. I think theyre redundant on a load of forums.

 

The overriding forum rule is "Behave like ladies and gentlemen". Any breach of that gets deleted regardless.

If the argument is valuable in relation to the aims of the forum then I'll let it run a while but then I post with "moderator hat on" so people know it's not a personal comment and suggest it is time to call a halt to this particular thread because it is getting out of line. (ie little relevance, mainly insulting). Sometimes the participants themselves are glad I do this as they don't want to be seen backing out but they don't need the agro of an argument either.

We have a section you can argue to your hearts content so I suggest that if anyone really needs to continue it they are welcome start a fresh thread and do it there. Few do.

The original thread gets locked so nobody can add one last comment, the lock comes off after 4 or 5 days. The "argue" section has any thread that has no posts for 2 weeks automatically deleted, there is no value in retaining pure argument.

Roughly speaking we get flare ups 2 or 3 times a year so no big deal. One or two people have said that I should keep the arguments on as it adds "life" but then generally speaking they know the participants. For people coming across the forum for the first time who don't know the participants it can be a bit off putting so I lean towards that reasoning rather than let it go too far.

I reserve the right to ban but have only had to put 2 one week bans out in 3 years.

 

Same as here......only step in if it starts to get heated..

 

Have been on a long journey re the behavior you describe. This thread describes a lot of it.

Mods and I have learned that ...

- most members prefer to be able to express opinions without mod intervention, so long as remarks are about the topic, not directed personally - relaxed moderating permitting vigorous discussion and thread drift makes for an interesting forum people want to visit again

- intelligent, thoughtful, articulate members don't like and won't post if there is too much of what we've defined as bickering, which is slighting personal remarks, not topical remarks - if there is too much of it the better conversationalists cut down or end their forum activity

- if not moderated, if it continues, more members will start to behave the same way while those who are most irritated by it leave

- members who respond politely to moderators, don't argue and agree they were out of line will be better behaved in the future

- members who respond rudely to the moderators, say that they disagree with a 'no bickering' rule, or that they don't think it should be applied to them for some reason, will eventually continue the behavior - they take a lot of mod time and don't really improve

- bickering gives the forum a bad rep in the hobby, that's what people remember and talk about instead of features and good threads


We currently have a policy of consistent moderating without regard to the perceived status or belovedness of any member, and a quick path to the door for recalcitrant members. This has greatly increased the threads with controversy and strong opinions ... because people feel more free to express themselves knowing there won't be bickering snide remarks in response.

 

6 years of this sillyness... anyone who is a consistent trouble maker gets banned.

Everyone has a bad day now and then, it's all good.

Come back once a week to cause trouble and you're done.

Next...

-Raymond

 

Deal with what?

I usually back away slowly and let them go at it. Their supposed to be adults, they can take care of themselves.

 

yeah that's what I meant


my management team also ran out of patience at the 6 year mark

 

normally when there is an argument i remove the posts and put them in the staff area, and send a pm to both members, letting them know that what they said was innapropriate for the forum, and i got each members side of the story to what happened. from the posts i saw which member started it, and let them know that they shouldnt say things like that and start an argument, and asked them to apologise, and if it ever happens again, they will get a warning. i told the member who responded to the original members insult, that next time there is a problem he should report the post to a staff member instead of argue back.

 

I have a section named: The arguing hole.
If people want to argue, they go there. As long there's no swearing involved everythings fine with me.

 

just make a warning system............and warn the members making any flaming or harassing post.....and if theyh dont listen u can ban them

 

i just let them fight it out. they will soon get past whatever they're bickering over.