Is trying to get people to understand my vision of the site so wrong?

Well, looks like I did it again. [****][****][****][****], I think I'm gonna end up murdering my forum one of these days.

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Kinda sums up the problem.

I have two new moderators on my forum. They are really, really good guys. They deal with problems very efficiently, they do their jobs, and they do a lot for the forum (one basically turned our mafia section from unused into the most popular section, the other brought in like 20 active members).

However, I don't completely agree with the way they go about moderating. I think they act too strictly sometimes, and that alienates the kind of user I like (for details on what kind of poster that is, just take a look at this thread on M&S forums (if the adress 404s, the URL got censored), i.e. friendly, happy people who sometimes act like dicks, but it's all taken well because it's under friends. Maybe that's just impossible with a larger userbase. Ionno.

So I started a thread in the mod lounge, saying to the people what was going on.

First two responses was the other mod mentioning above claiming to quit (he's done it about 5 times in the past), and one of the more trusted old crowd, who comes from the atmosphere I want, and who I would expect to agree with me, saying this:

I reply by saying that I agree with those people to an extent, and that I don't want to push MTGDarkness any more in the direction of MTGS moderation. In case you're wondering what I mean, MTGS is a competing forum. Most of our solid members don't visit there because of their absolutely terrible moderation system-every slightest offense gets corrected with modtext and warnings. Most of our solid members... except for these two mods. Then mod 1 says he's putting in his two weeks notice. Basically, the rest of that thread in the mod lounge is either people abusing me or people agreeing with the people abusing me.
The only even moderately positive post was this one:

At least someone likes me.

I basically ended up saying "Fine, you guys win, I'll just keep to the side I'm not shit at, the backend. Sorry mods 1 and 2." And then mod 2 demands that I deal with One of the members who is "being psychotic" by not agreeing with the way that they are moderating.

Well if I'm [****][****][****][****]ing losing old core members (people who have been there for the entire year MTGDarkness has been around and have 3000+ posts and were very active up until these guys kicked in), and I agree with what they say, don't you expect me to be a little worried and ask my mods to just chill a little?

I'm just pissed and hurt and worried that I [****][****][****][****]ed up again. WTF do I do.



TL;DR: some mods are moderating in a way I don't like, but I can't really afford to let them go, they got pissy when I told them. What do I do?

 

I'd say if you feel you are "murdering your forum," you should probably listen to your instincts. You might want to think about picking a mod and turning over mod direction to that person and take a step back. Have a pm conversation with that person in a conversational tone about what your thoughts are. And just as important, consider carefully what they have to say. Then you have to trust their instincts over your own - so choose carefully. If you have someone you are aligned with overall, just let them roll and sit on your hands if you see something that bugs you.

Your mods must have a clue about something that's right ... one jump-started a forum, another has brought in a herd of new members. In comparison, you feel like your efforts are jeopardizing your forum's success. Maybe re-evaluate?

 

I would go with what you typed on your forum:
"I can't deal with this right now".

I would PM all offending parties that they are having their posts moderated & the moderator demodded till you have time to sort through things.

"I'm sorry guys but I need time to think and as much as I hate to do it I cannot just let you post right now. It really is my fault things are little messed up right now and I need time to fix things up".

They will soon figure out that the mod has lost the title and not posting either. And everyone will get some time to cool down.

 

Post too long, do not have time to read. So lets just use this one sentence

Short answer - No. If they do not understand, they are in the way of your forward motion. Ignore them and move on.

 

Do you have a Mission Statement - something written up that details what your vision of the site is? It may help to keep things focused. That's one of the first things we wrote up when we started our site because we knew we were gonna have people come onto the site thinking we were just another live music torrent site when we didn't plan to be the same.

 

Wow, deja vu. Mods who don't like my vision and think theirs is superior: check. Mods who feel it's okay to bitch at me about my decisions: check. Mods who think that their contribution is so vast that I can't possibly live without it: check.

I was so fed up that I was willing to lose half my membership (on a small board to start with) to get rid of them. I never regretted it for even a split second. Running a board is something I do for fun, if I want to spend a lot of time being bitched at I have plenty of real-life opportunities for that.

Stick with your own vision. I'd rather fail with my own vision than succeed with someone else's.

 

Something like this has happened before, the mod who was against everything I did is demodded now.

No, it's not wrong to try to get people to get your vision, it's actually quite good. Other admins wouldn't 'try' to get them to understand, they would FORCE the understanding. You're being lenient and 'nice' about the situation by budging in and thinking more about your member base. Though I have to say that if there are other forums that you're getting compared to... You gotta listen to your users, they are after all the ones visiting your forum daily.

A moderators should not only be open for any kind of idea/suggestion the administrator has, but they shouldn't go against the admin's word for the only fact is that an admin does what they think is best for the site.

 

Just based on what I read ... getting people to understand your vision is not wrong at all.

How you were going about it is registering what in skiing is called a 'face-plant.'

It isn't what you want to communicate. It's how you are communicating. You are alienating the people you need the most.

You are talking down to them, instead of opening up a 2-way discussion. Communicating and keeping people on board takes a lot longer than just telling them. It is also much more effective and you don't do it over and over. The people you want in the boat with you say, instead of walking away in disgust that you don't understand or listen to them. It's a 2-way process.

 

Shoulder every bit of the blame and speak DIRECTLY with those affected. People probably think that they're doing the best for the site.. if people do things for their own personal agendas, get rid of them, no problem, ttyl style

Figure out if your vision fits in the vision of the community or not