About Alien Soup

Mmmmmmm ok Ripster, but as punishment, you will not be probed for 10 working days (my weekends are open though) and and no more Twinkies for a month unless unless you promise to...you know...yes, that! What is it with you South Bend women anyway? Bring donuts.

 

A full report of your nefarious activities here on planet earth has been sent to AHQ (Alien Headquarters) and it would not surprise me if serious action is taken to prevent a repeat of your malodorous conniving. There is not ONE grain of truth to any of your malicious and highly exaggerated claims. To prove this, I shall be posting a photo of Ripley on the Uberprober* table awaiting a repeat of my delicate yet thorough probing hands.

You, sir are not certified or qualified to conduct such an important procedure using vastly inferior human designed probe equipment. Only a REAL alien can do this and do it right. Just ask Rip....and Rosey Buns. Why do you think they call her that anyway? Yep...and I taught her everything she knows, including how to max out all her credit cards at the malls and casinos in N.E.

 

Schizander and Sentinel my two favorite aliens. How will Ripley and I ever be worthy enough to get an assignment aboard your space ship. I want to take a ride or fly a space ship one day. I think it be a blast don't you agree Ripley?
So tell me what do I have to do in order for me to fly?

 

Oh Schizy, I'm so glad to be in your good graces again. 10 working days? I guess I will have to endure.:nuts: But any amount of time is worth waiting for your uber-perfect probemastering. :nod: Do promise me though, that you won't go away for so long next time?? You know I have trusting issues, and when you disappear, I think only the worst. I worry that Sentinel has taken you away from me and Dear Rosey.

Just incase he should get his evil tenticles on you, I have causually placed a homing device on your ship so dear rosey and I can find you/rescue you if need be. We are only thinking of your welfare and our probing needs!

 

I Sir have never been involved in *nefarious activities nor have I ever induldged in *malodorous conniving. Your slanderous *Buncombe shall not go unpunished I assure you. I laugh at your threats .

Ha Ha and Ha you Tadpole green Alien!

The first violation and your back home planet Pickle boy!

 

Now....now you two. Doesn't seem odd that here both of you are handsome, intelligent aliens who strive for one thing only. I don't need to tell you what that might be. Sentinel it is true that more than once I have visited Schizander"s space ship. We had cafe mocha's and sat in his slime green hot bath talking about ways to populate all the females of this planet.

Sentinel you and I could also have cafe mocha's as well. Do you have a green slime hot tub as well? If you would like to discuss the take over of this planet with your alien breed, then let me know.

 

Well...ok then...1 working day then, but next time....and since you seem to be genuinely sorry for your insensitive inconsistencies...Oh, all right then...I suppose I could reduce that to 1/10 working day what with your chronic trusting issues, excessive battery expenses, Twinkie addiction, and everything else, but don't think this will cause me to start going soft on you. I blame this meddlesome Sentinel character. Things were just hunky dory peachy creamy until he showed up and started interfering in our little probe 'a trois.

BTW, I found your GPS homing device on my ship, and I made a few minor adjustments to it for security reasons, which means it will not always accurately display my exact position and for good reason I might add. As you may or may not know positions are very important things, and one cannot simply reveal them to the general public, especially when there is more than one position at stake. We aliens put a lot of time and effort into developing our positions, and we simply cannot take a chance on those positions being compromised. I hope you understand. From now on I promise I will keep you abreast of the condition and exact nature of my position and I will expect you to do likewise.

As for your probing needs, I have just received official authorization from AHQ (Alien HeadQuarters) to increase your probes sessions to 7 per day plus 4 bonus Uberprobe* sessions on the weekends which makes a grande total of 53 per week. I do this because I like you and because you do seem to genuinely enjoy our little probing get togethers. Need I say more? Probably not.

 

Ripley the good Doctor is under double Secret Probation*. I have my eye on him and any, I repeat any unauthorized uberprobing will result in the violation of the probation terms he agreed to with *GAP* Galactic Alien Probation Department. Violation of these terms means immediate incarceration on a Federation Jail barge and a one way ticket to a Mindwash Tank.

After a good mind scrubing the violater is re-programmed to a more harmonious vocation. In the good doctors case with his penchant for young good looking ladys I would think a hair dresser would be a great pick.

Please dont forget our meeting with rosebuns this friday. I will be inserting the pleasure wands in both of you comlete with anti-uberprobe sensor's. These new state of art anti uberprobes immobilise anyone who trys to illegaly tries to uberprobe your nubile young bodies. Once imobilized It sends me a signal so I may have the offending parties picked up and mindwashed.

ToO Tull LOU mY DeArs

 

Oh, my Sentinel now that does sound like fun and so exciting. Will you take us seperately or together with these( pleasure wands)?

If only you and Schizander can meet eye to eye on both your worthy causes, then all will be well with this world. After the probe session Sentinel what will we do next? Will you show me how to fly your space ship?

 

what the heck is that all about?

can someone please explain this post to me??:ohboy: :ohboy:

 

Hi Bobafart, sure I'll explain this thread to you. Since you are a member of Alien Soup, this is a role play about aliens.

We have two aliens Sentinel and Schizander. There are two human females..Ripley and myself.

Schizander's purpose is to inseminate as many earth woman as he can. He particularly loves, gold card, mall walking, suv driving, soccer moms. If anyone is willing to side with him then they will have to write an application to be admitted into his society. You also have to be probed many times and you have to submissive and obedient to him.

Sentinel's role is portrayed as a sheriff telling Schizander that what he is doing is wrong, and for his crimes he will be jailed. But Sentinel doesn't always wear his halo..for he likes the probing sessions as well with these cute human females.

Ripley has already gone under several probing sessions with Schizander.

Although Schizander and I have had many discussions about his purpose here, I do tend to lean towards Sentinel.

Now since your a man...I am not sure how Sentinel or Schizander will react to you joining forces with them. Maybe Schizander will put you in charge of his poontang ranch, here on earth with his thousands of children that look just like him.

Oh and one more thing if you are wearing a silver foil cap take it off now!!! Their are people in this world who say that silver foil will save you from aliens thought waves, don't listen to them.

Well I hope I have been of some assistance. I'm sure someone else will be in contact with you and clue you in to what else we write about here.

 

Good morning, Bobafart. Perhaps I can shed a little light on dear sweet darlin' Ripley's brief if not ambiguous post. You see she has been under my professional probing care for several weeks now, and doing quite well too I might add considering she had had one extremely negative personal encounter experience after the other what with all those dastardly (and impotent) human males in her life, who btw knew next to nothing about probing or anything else really, but that was before I abducted her late one night (early one morning actually) as she was working alone in her cozy little donut shop located in the heart of South Bend....or is it West Bend...East Bend...North? It was some kind of Bend in Indiana.

At any rate, there she was all stooped and bent over the rickety wobbly squeaky "Mr. Donut" donut making machine. And and she was dressed in her old threadbare bell-bottomed hippie jeans with two large peace symbols embroidered on the ass pockets and both her socked footsies were neatly tucked down inside a pair of ancient brown scuffed Birkenstocks.

I remember it like it was yesterday....the snowy donut flour was sifting through her unruly and unkempt salt and pepper hair, the dried and congealed strawberry filling was still visible around the edges of her full supple lips, the front of her faded and frazzled anti-war t-shirt (signed by Joan Baez AND Bob Dylan no less) was covered with chocolate and maple icing....but even so, all that gooey sticky sugary veneer could not cover up the fact that she had obviously just recently spent a big hunk of cash on a big honking breast implant job.....Mmmmm, well, I remember thinking to myself at the time, is she not the perfect candidate for abduction or what? And so, abduct her I did and not a moment too soon as the donut shop was soon filled to capacity with retired right wing neo-nutzies and other such politically correct partisan riffraff who were as impotent as they were misguided and misinformed.

Did she resist, you are probably asking yourself about now? In a word, no. In fact, she seemed to welcome my slimey green alien advances, and in fact if my excellent memory serves me correctly, the first words to escape from the warm moist confines of those lucious strawberry filling coated lips were "YES! YES! Where have you been all my life, you big handsome slimey scaley schizzy skuzzy studmuffin?"

The rest has been nothing but one steamy probe session after another, and to be honest with you Bobafart, I...I...I'm not so sure I can keep this up for much longer....my green blood cell count is way down and my alien electrolytes are barely detectable, but she keeps coming back again and again and again for more probe sessions....sigh. Is there no end to what these superwomen from South Bend can take I keep asking myself between probe sessions? If you have the answer please post it here as I am in need of a little rest and recuperation. Oops...here she is again banging on the door of the probe room and yelling "Open up you big slimey proberoonie. It's me again!"

 

Mr. Bob-O-Fart,

You have entered the room of The *Sentinal*. The purpose of this room is to keep tabs on the Alien Infestation that has infested this fair Planet. I have looked into your backround and am deeply concerned that you may not be human. It appears you are a Methane based life form and pose a signifigant
Bio- hazard threat to the enviorment with your excretion's.

Your own words document this threat to humanity.

Posted by Bob-o-fart.


I have my eye on you poopy boy.

 

Hello friends, aliens, and others. I've been in hiding for the past month or so. I have been having strange dreams that I don't know if they are real or just that, dreams. I've been under the care of a dream analizer. He seems to be baffled too.

These dreams seem to be filled with daisy fields and sucker trees. I'm rolling around in these daisy fields (naked of course) asking for a sip of water. I can't ever seem to get to the water. The sucker trees start to melt, even though its cold weather. I try to climb my way out of the field before the sticky sweet mess gets to me. I end up screaming myself awake saying POP SECRET! POP SECRET! I usually have daisy petels in my clenched fists.

I'm certainly hoping that this isn't an adverse reaction to the continous probing from dear Schizy. This South Bend girl wouldn't be able to live without her probing sessions! Thats why I'm running directly to Schizy's last known place of residence to start another session...RIGHT NOW!

 

Glad to see you are back here in the soup Ripley. That is one awesome dream. Did you see what Schizander wrote in the Newb Hatchery under. Let the probing begin. I suggest you read what he wrote there as well.

 

Hello Ripley. Chances are these dark evil dreams will soon cease as I will not be performing any more p---- sessions from now on. Please don't misunderstand, I'm not saying for absolute certain that our evil p---- sessions caused this, but it probably contributed to these dastardly images which have filled your pure innocent virgin head these last few last days.

My suggestion is that you stay awake for the next several days and watch reruns of old TV programs from the 1950's and read lots and lots of childrens books from that same era. You might also try feeling lots of guilt and shame for what you dreamed while you were "naked" and if that doesn't work I suggest that you also leave South Bend and move to a more morally acceptable red state location as well.

As for myself, I have taken the high road in this and all other things and will be busy night and day doing right and living clean and assisting those who wish to do the same. No more p------ or abducting innocent young female earthlings on or off the internet. Thanks again. Your friend, Brother Abraham T. Schizander, reformed alien scum and do-gooder extraordinaire.

 

I can only hope I have enough batterie power to last me until you snap out of this spell your under.

 

I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, Ripley, but I just cancelled your order for the one year's supply of extra long life batteries which you recently requested from my battery supply headquarters. I had no choice really. You'll be getting some tracts in the mail instead...courtesy of Mr. and Mrs. Rotgut Televangelist.

This weekend some of us aliens are planning a little wholesome family values get together at my place. You and Rosebud are invited and please feel free to bring along your friends. There'll be the usual good stuff...lots of good clean fun...apple bobbing, pin-the-tail-on-the-alien, lawn croquet if the weather is nice, and afterwards we'll meet in the alien fellowship hall for group. See you then I hope. Please dress appropriately.

 

Thank you for inviting me Schizander. I will keep an open mind and very careful about this so called meeting. What time shall I meet you at your place Schizander?

 

Good morning, Ripley...I've had a change of heart again....I no longer am interested in living clean and being a pretend do-gooder alien. I don't know what came over me. I've repossessed the Uberprober* and will be offering a two for one probe special for the next two weeks. I'm also including a genuine alien abduction experience which includes staring into blinding lights and being completely paralyzed as you are being abducted from your bedroom. Please wear the appropriate alien abduction attire (anything from Victoria's Secret's new Spring collection will be fine)...see you soon I hope.