When administrating becomes more stressful than fun

I would say re-evaluate what you want from the website. Sometimes, it is easy to lose the sight of your goal because you have some immediate things asking for your attention, like stress. Most important is to remember that no one asked you to do this, even if they did, it was worth it because you had a vision in mind when you made this happen. Remember that vision and get your drive to run this thing back.

 

In addition to my previous post I just wanted to chime in again and point out that a lot of stress related to forums can stem from poor time management. Managing the daily tasks is just as (if not more) important as taking time off to unwind. A good start is typing up a definitive work scheduled for yourself (and possibly for your staff).

A simple example for a brand new forum with less than 1k members might be:

Mon. - 5 new topic threads, Feature research and testing, moderation, support
Tue. - Marketing research and implementation, moderation, support
Wen. - 5 new topic threads, Usability testing and research, moderation, support
Thur. - Staff meeting, review suggestions and supply feedback, acquire paying advertisers, moderation, support
Fri. - 5 new topic threads, Technical trouble shooting and bug research, moderation, support
Sat. - Off
Sun. Off

Obviously there's missing elements in the above weekly schedule as well as time investment per task outlines, however it does provide a general idea on a brand new forum level as to how to start thinking about scheduling tasks to be more organized and thus less stressful throughout the week. If you get scheduling down pat early, it will help relieve stress down the road as you grow bigger and continue to follow the same time managed process.

Eric Lyon

 

If your forum is stressful, you might be losing passion for the topic. I only have forums when I have an absolute passion for what they were created about.

 

@Fergal , we did try the manual registration thing for a bit, but the problem was, it just made the whole process more difficult for everyone else - and they still slipped through, because they knew exactly what to say in order to get the free pass. Thank you for the idea though, it may be worth revisiting!

@Eric Lyon , thank you so much for your detailed & thoughtful response! I'm really sorry it took me this long to get back to you, but I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated your insight. Your list makes my day look easy I hope we never have to deal with DDoS attacks. And you were right, that all of these things combined can really take a toll on someone's psyche. I wish the empathy thing could go numb on certain things, but I guess I wouldn't want to be hardened or desensitized to other stuff in life because of this forum. In fact, if I felt that was happening, I'd probably quit permanently. Really love all of your ideas, especially the one about focusing on hobbies and other interests - I am going to work hard to disconnect each night after work and spend a few hours writing, which is my favorite passion! Staff reviews were another great idea. Your post actually finally helped me take action on a problematic admin. She is gone now, and life has been so much more pleasant - so, thank you!!

@s.molinari , you described the stress of administrating perfectly, including the idea once that it would be "fun". I remember back in 2004, when I first started playing with forums, I thought "How cool would it be to have a really active forum!" Life is so rude sometimes. Your thoughts about changing my mentality are spot on. Time to revert back to the fun, youthful ignorance You guys are brilliant, and could both have a comfortable job in the field of psychology.

@bookreader1991 , I loved this quote: "Most important is to remember that no one asked you to do this, even if they did, it was worth it because you had a vision in mind when you made this happen." You are so right on. At one point, I thought this was the coolest endeavor ever, and I wanted to reach as many people as possible. Your posts are helping me to feel that way again.

@Shawn Gossman , that could definitely be - I know I'm still passionate about the topic, because I love writing about it. But I am possibly losing the human interactive side of it (ie, playing therapist/disciplinarian/troll-hunter)

Thanks again everyone, you have all helped me very much!

 

I agree that it is very difficult to work full time and be a forum moderator/owner on the side. If you are a parent then you really have three jobs. It is possible to assign moderator duties to trusted forum posters and delegate responsibility. However, this is often an unsuccessful strategy as those moderators do not have the same passion and financial interest in the forum as the owner does. I share the original poster's frustrations.

 

In a cruel twist of irony, our website was hacked tonight - with thousands of files injected and contaminated. Sigh... Let the cleanup begin.

 

Out of curiosity, what software are you using and are you using any add-ons or extensions?

Scott

 

4.2.1 of vBulletin - we do have addons, but the attack appears to be from someone who had access to an FTP account. The password was strong, but it was the same one our ex-disgruntled admin knew. It was the one password I forgot to change.

 

Make a note for yourself in the future to start changing access point passwords and limiting permissions "minutes before" you tell a staff member their services are no longer needed. Take some time to double check all points of access and permissions to be sure, then let them know. It's better to have them contact you realizing they lost access before your announcement than for them to get the announcement and still have access

It might help to keep a notepad with each of your staff members listed that have added permissions in ACP / FTP / Hosting accounts / Emails / Etc... That way you can just use that as a checklist in the event a situation arises again.

Gotta love all the little learning experiences we go through each day as Admins (I'm sure others had the same thing happen at least once that have been around a while) :p lol

Eric Lyon

 

Never let them get the best of you. Dont take a whole weekend off , take 1h off or 4h and do what you love to do most, do this daily and you will see it will be the best thing ever. When I get stressed I just shut down my browser and start plying a game

 

That is too bad. Hope you get it straightened out quickly, if not already.



Scott

 

Ya, that's true as well. Hasn't happened to me though because I love my niche.

 

I truly suggest you take breaks and stick to them. You won't do anyone there any good if you are mentally, physically and spiritually exhausted. If you truly believe you got good people who can handle the work without you for a little while then put your trust in them so you can take the breaks you need.

One thing that might help you and the people who may be lurking as guests and considering to join is to have a place to give testimonials of how the site has and is helping them through their struggles.

It helps them to know that there are people out there that are like them who are being helped meaning they can get help too. It also allows you to be reminded of just how you matter to them and how much good you do each day that place exists. I took a look around and see a lot of hurt people there who might very well count on you and your site to get them through their struggles. Sometimes it's nice to actually get to see just some of the good you do upfront and personally and not just through the assumption that what you do is helping others. It might help during those days when it just seems too much to bear. I wish you the best of luck on beating back all that stands in the way of the work you do.